I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
