I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
