saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
how drunk are you?
Several
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
