Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
