Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
ttyl tear gas
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
