Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
