i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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