I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
