Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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