I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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