I love black thongs
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
