just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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