When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
