I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
did i walk over a car last night?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I would fuck him just for his dog
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
