Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
