the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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