I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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