everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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