i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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