I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
