Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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