why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
