Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i believe in u and ur pee
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
