i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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