Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
