problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
