"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
