You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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