If i come over, it means nothing
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You made out with two different species that night
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
