No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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