We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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