This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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