Can i not drive my cunt home
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
