Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
