So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
