What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
