he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
