the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
