I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
