I think i peed on brittanys purse
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
