idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
