I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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