Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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