You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
