ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
