Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
