I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
