Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
