I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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