ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
50% drunk capacity currently
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
