i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
